Greetings, dear reader, greetings.
I must apologise for the lack of blogging of late - not because I've lost interest, but because I've lost technology.
Initially I had a problem, as I believe I explained in an earlier missive, with my broadband connection. BT, in its monolithic way, got round to curing that one just as soon as Bert from the exchange got round to emptying the water out of the junction box.
Then began a series of events that wouldn't have seemed out of place in one of those cheap horror stories where accident piles upon coincidence which in turn is founded in sheer bad luck, leavened with a dash of 'What the f**k do I do now?.
Firstly, we noticed that the power cable on 'Erself's laptop was beginning to fray - not badly, and with no effect, but we knew that sooner or later we'd have to buy a replacement - but not yet, times is 'ard and cash difficult to come by for those of us on a fixed income.
Then, I downloaded an update to my Apple iMac, something I'd done many, many times before. Following the download, the dear little thing requested that I reboot it (also a familiar concept), which I did. I then went to bed.
In the words of cheap stories everywhere, '...imagine my surprise...' the next morning when I was faced with a grey screen, complete with Apple logo, and no reboot!
I turned it off and turned it on again - same result.
Long story short - nothing doing. My support guy is on holiday till 8/8, I have work to do, people to email, letters to write, and here I am reduced to using my wife's laptop (when she doesn't need it!).
And so, blogging is a fair way down the list of things to do, following on from creating new member details for the charity I work for (which I will tell you about one day, honest), writing to supporters of the charity, PR work for the charity, webmastering for the charity and the local school, and producing newsletters, both local and national.
But worse than that - I can't play any games! She hasn't got any installed on her laptop! OH MY GODDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!
29 July 2011
15 July 2011
Customer Service? My Arse!
THURSDAY: So, my broadband connection speed has dropped from the normal, Cornish, mind-numbingly slow 800kbps, to a pre-21st century 350-400kbps.
For those readers not into the technical number-geekery of the internet, that is like slowing down an experienced typist to the sort of speeds achievable by chiselling letters into a block of granite with a chisel made out of well-chewed celery and a hammer with all the rigidity of overcooked spaghetti!
So slow is this, that I can't even stream music courtesy of Spotify, as my computer keeps thinking the connection is gone, and tries to re-establish it, with hilarious (NOT) results.
After almost 2 hours on the phone to my Internet Service Provider (Orange), during which time we seem to have tested almost everything except my inside leg measurement (and we may even have done that for all I know), the very nice man in Mumbai pronounced everything well at their end, everything working from my telephone socket to my computer, and decided that it must be a line or exchange problem. He suggested I phone BT and take it up with them.
Gentle reader, at that point, I couldn't take any more geekery, accented English, or long pauses while the next stage of the process loaded, so I decided to leave it till the next day.
THE NEXT DAY: Today I phoned BT, and spoke, if not to the same gentleman I spoke to at Orange, then to one of his many brothers, presumably also lurking somewhere in the Indian sub-continent.
He too performed many tests, but kindly allowed me to hang up while he did so, and have a cup of coffee. I suspect he had one too. He then phoned me back, and with great pride announced that he had found the source of the problem, and that it was indeed somewhere in the exchange. (Why would you be proud that you'd found a cock-up in your own system?)
With equal pride, he informed me that he had already set his finest engineers to tackling the problem, and they estimated that it would located, assessed and corrected - by Wednesday 20 July.
Now - and correct me if I'm wrong - the year is 2011. Technology is at its peak. We have sent men to the moon, robots to Mars, and can fry eggs without glueing them to the frying pan. But it's going to take five days to fix a minor problem in a town telephone exchange!?
If I told one of my clients that it's going to take five days to fix a problem on their website, or correct a mistake in their accounts, they would quite rightly insert something prickly into a place where prickly things should not be found.
But BT, because they are one of the biggest companies in the UK, can sit back, make that pronouncement, and know in their telephonic smugness that there is nothing I can do about it.
Bastards!!
For those readers not into the technical number-geekery of the internet, that is like slowing down an experienced typist to the sort of speeds achievable by chiselling letters into a block of granite with a chisel made out of well-chewed celery and a hammer with all the rigidity of overcooked spaghetti!
So slow is this, that I can't even stream music courtesy of Spotify, as my computer keeps thinking the connection is gone, and tries to re-establish it, with hilarious (NOT) results.
After almost 2 hours on the phone to my Internet Service Provider (Orange), during which time we seem to have tested almost everything except my inside leg measurement (and we may even have done that for all I know), the very nice man in Mumbai pronounced everything well at their end, everything working from my telephone socket to my computer, and decided that it must be a line or exchange problem. He suggested I phone BT and take it up with them.
Gentle reader, at that point, I couldn't take any more geekery, accented English, or long pauses while the next stage of the process loaded, so I decided to leave it till the next day.
THE NEXT DAY: Today I phoned BT, and spoke, if not to the same gentleman I spoke to at Orange, then to one of his many brothers, presumably also lurking somewhere in the Indian sub-continent.
He too performed many tests, but kindly allowed me to hang up while he did so, and have a cup of coffee. I suspect he had one too. He then phoned me back, and with great pride announced that he had found the source of the problem, and that it was indeed somewhere in the exchange. (Why would you be proud that you'd found a cock-up in your own system?)
With equal pride, he informed me that he had already set his finest engineers to tackling the problem, and they estimated that it would located, assessed and corrected - by Wednesday 20 July.
Now - and correct me if I'm wrong - the year is 2011. Technology is at its peak. We have sent men to the moon, robots to Mars, and can fry eggs without glueing them to the frying pan. But it's going to take five days to fix a minor problem in a town telephone exchange!?
If I told one of my clients that it's going to take five days to fix a problem on their website, or correct a mistake in their accounts, they would quite rightly insert something prickly into a place where prickly things should not be found.
But BT, because they are one of the biggest companies in the UK, can sit back, make that pronouncement, and know in their telephonic smugness that there is nothing I can do about it.
Bastards!!
5 July 2011
cycling for fun and profit
Okay, so I haven't made a profit cycling, but I am, against all the odds, finding it fun. After a couple of sessions in the gym (to be repeated every week), at the weekend 'Erself and me, and our neighbour, went out for a ride to the local lake, a picturesque place called Syblyback Lake...
It was a nice gentle ride - 3 miles each way, with a couple of laps right around the lake adding another six miles. Between laps, we relaxed with a coffee and cake, as from everything I've read about touring cyclists, that's what you have to do.
And the strange thing is, even with the hills, which in this part of Cornwall can be pretty depressing, I really enjoyed it.
Blue skies, sunshine, sheep and lambs gambolling in the fields (note to self - buy something for Sunday lunch), good company and fabulous scenery - you can't beat it.
I might even do it again!
It was a nice gentle ride - 3 miles each way, with a couple of laps right around the lake adding another six miles. Between laps, we relaxed with a coffee and cake, as from everything I've read about touring cyclists, that's what you have to do.
And the strange thing is, even with the hills, which in this part of Cornwall can be pretty depressing, I really enjoyed it.
Blue skies, sunshine, sheep and lambs gambolling in the fields (note to self - buy something for Sunday lunch), good company and fabulous scenery - you can't beat it.
I might even do it again!
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